Schrödinger's cat

 

It is around 6 pm. Picture me in a super metro bus. Next to me sits a breathtakingly gorgeous girl. Yes girl. Not lady, neither would I call her woman. You should know the reason by the end of this read.  Actually, at first peep through the corner of my right eye, I had thought it was a dude. And no, I have no eye problem. Just hang on a little more you will understand why I had thought so. If you may, allow me to walk you through your memory lane…. Will you?...............you are still here? Thank you, give me your hand, let’s saunter to three years back when everyone had a mask on, courtesy of covid. You remember when you would see so many of “my types” while sauntering in the CBD? Well, that is until they decided to put their masks off? I am sure you do, now in my case, it was the contrary.  

Let me cut the chase, this “guy” sitting beside me had a mask on. I could not fail but wonder, who still wants to be tightened in a mask in this economy? Aren’t the taxes tightening enough? anyway, let me exhaust the description. He had short brown dyed hair. A baggy t-shirt on and loose jeans. She is of brown skin complexion. Between her thighs is a plastic bottle with some drink “he” keeps sipping from. You tell me that that description does not fit a guy.

You wonder, at what point did I realize that my neighbour was actually not a guy? it started when the conductor came asking for the fare. My neighbour had to get her mask off as “he “wanted to communicate to the conductor about something I do not really recall. What I recall is the voice. It was nothing less of a seductive voice. One you hear and your worries as if ice on furnace melt away. I could not help but turn to confirm the beholder of the voice and oh my! Believe me, I had to rub my eyes to confirm. A beauty of beauties. And just like that my perception of her changed. She wasn’t wearing baggy t shirt and loose pants anymore. She was just stylish and boy didn’t I fall for her sense of fashion.

It just then dawned on me that, we are going to sit next to each for the next like twenty minutes. I am healthy lad armed with nothing but a sweet tongue. This was of course my time to shine. Maybe this is the one, I thought to myself. Turns out she is a free bird, or maybe she had just been let loose from the cage. It is like she was in pursuit of a listening ear. All it took was a “hi”. Her response began like “are you sure you want to talk to me?” and then she moved closer and whispered to my ears “you know I am a drunkard, who wants to talk to drunkards?” and sure, she was drinking. The bottle pinned in her thighs was alcohol. She went on explaining that she works in the food industry and that she did drop out of campus because of that very opportunity to work in a particular established restaurant. She said “nilikuwa nafikiria nitaomoka kumbe wapi? I am being paid peanuts! Peanuts! Peanuts!” at this time she was at the verge of shedding tears “and I ate the school fees I had been given, now look at me, a looser, pathetic” and then she began sobbing “the friends I thought I had walipotea, now I just drink na life inasonga” she stops sobbing and begins to giggle “alcohol is fun, you should drink” she said feigning a smile at me. Out of pity I had begun losing my guard, luckily the bus arrived to my destination. As I was readying to alight she asked “hutachukua number?” to which I replied “usijali nitakuja kukutafuta workplace yako” that was definitely a white a lie. I wasn’t even looking at her while saying.

As I perambulated towards my house, I couldn’t get my mind from the girl’s sentiments. I felt her agony. I know comparison is a seed of thorns but I nevertheless found myself comparing hers and my situation. With all my troubles that can bring the weight of the world down, I was surely at a better position than her. At least for the moment. This compelled me to look around and I imagined what a world it would be if everyone walked with their agony broadcasted on their foreheads. Just imagine.

Just like the schrödinger's cat, unless you let someone open up, we can never know the demons they are fighting. I hope as you walk around, interact with fellow humans always know that they too, just like you have their own hurdles.

Most of the time we forget that just us we are striving to be better to achieve dreams so is everyone. That mama mboga you buy Sukuma from, has dreams and ambitions of being great. That bodaboda guy you see at the stage on his bike hoping you will hop on his bike, has dreams and ambitions of being great. That neighbour of yours who has an 8-5 job, dressed in suits, equally has dreams and ambitions of being great. That hawker you see, just as you, has dreams and ambitions. Your boss is equally with dreams of being greater than where he is.

The buildings you see half-finished and look like they are abandoned; the owners of the project never wanted it that way. They were ambitious, dreamt of completing it and put it into use. They never at any time in their plans thought of having to write on the unfinished walls “usikojoe hapa” or “usitupe takataka hapa”

The marriages you see failing after a number of years of being together. Surely that is never the plan when the two love birds decided to be in union. It is a failed project but they were ambitious with dreams of growing old together.

Everyone is fighting their battle, in their own right. No one is deliberately planning to make your battle easier. No one. Not that they do not want, just that they too have theirs. No wonder it is mostly difficult to succeed in your craft out of massive support from people who know you. Entrepreneurship 101 demands that you find a solution to a problem. In other words, make the pursuit of dreams and ambitions of someone less difficult and then charge for the “making”.

I just hope that you remember to live with that in mind. That you are alone but not the only one. That if you fail you are not the first and certainly not the last. Take it as a lesson and soldier on. Whenever you can, be kind to help one in their pursuit but remind yourself that no one owes you anything.

We are all in one quest, to find meaning in life. Sadly, we are not in one team. Is there even anything like a team in this game of life? Many say it is like boxing. You are in the ring alone. In regards to that I believe that it is okay to throw in the white towel when necessary than loosing your life all together. Let not John Cena lie to you, at times it is necessary to give up. I bet even John Cena has given up at some point only that we couldn’t see him 😅.